This should've gone to ServerFault, I'm thinkin'. Maybe I could just delete it and re-ask over there. Will I lose the bounty? It is sort of a SuperUser question, but it dawned on me that it would have had a better response over there after I had already bountied it.
Although this question is better suited and may even receive a higher quality answer, it is still within the bounds of the Super User asking. I would wait and see if there are any good quality answers that come in. I'm pretty sure that the bounty is set in stone and that your rep is now gone and is definately not transferable to other sites.