How to ask better questions and give better answers

Question

Rarely can I ask a question or provide some kind of input without someone having a problem with it and it’s getting on my nerves. To me, they all seem like great questions and answers, so I figured you guys must just be hard to please or something. However, I can’t help but notice, there are questions with 30+ votes, so there must be a better way for me to communicate my input, that won’t rub people the wrong way. Right? So how can I ask better questions & give better answers?

Please resist the temptation to down vote and trash this question. Help me to help you. Cheers.

Answer 1

It seems like you are mixing up comments from other users asking or clarification with feedback in the form of up votes or down votes.

Rarely can I ask a question or provide some kind of input without someone having a problem with it and it’s getting on my nerves. To me, they all seem like great questions and answers, so I figured you guys must just be hard to please or something.

While I want to state, “Stop taking things so personally…” a quick look at your questions and answers on the main site shows nothing really unusual or negative to your interactions here that I can see.

I do see the comments to this question that are a bit heated but still… You seem to be doing fine. There’s no down votes and no up votes to that question right now, so I don’t see what the issue is. The comments are simply people attempting to help you clarify the question so it can avoid being shut down, down voted, closed or deleted. So please don’t take that stuff negatively.

However, I can’t help but notice, there are questions with 30+ votes, so there must be a better way for me to communicate my input, that won’t rub people the wrong way. Right? So how can I ask better questions & give better answers?

You’re saying two things here that show you are a bit disconnected from the way Stack Exchange sites work. First you say you are noticing questions with 30+ votes and then you state you want to make sure you don’t “…rub people the wrong way.” This all points to two problems, and none of them from us:

1. You are looking at the reputation points as some grand reward and perhaps even an entitlement.
2. You are perceiving the reason for this lack of reputation points on your account as stemming from you “rubbing people the wrong way.”

These are not issues with any of us, but issues with you and your ideas of what this site is, what your participation in this site entails and what perceived “rewards” are connected to such participation.

This is the simplest explanation about everything on the Stack Exchange sites: Content is the main focus; users are not. If you post content that other users appreciate, you get rewarded with reputation points. But the main purpose of reputation points is to help moderate and clean the community.

Sure, I personally have 16,000+ reputation points and I am somewhat proud of that. But this is not a competition. You should not be thinking I am “better” than you and you should not believe that you cannot speak out against a higher rep user if you have a legitimate complaint.

In this case, you have a misunderstanding at best, but ultimately you have 100% no complaint. You need to stop taking things personally especially when—in all honesty—you seem like a fine user already whose adding positive things to the community.

Please resist the temptation to down vote and trash this question. Help me to help you. Cheers.

Again, you are taking all of this way to personally. I will state that looking at your questions/answers on the main site compared to here, your activity on the main site is fine with no down votes. But on this question on the meta site you are getting down votes because honestly… What are you complaining about?

You’ve only been a member for two months. Hang around more and maybe you will post a question or answer that catches on fire or perhaps results in someone rewarding you with extra reputation points. But just chill out.

Also, up/down voting in meta is fairly meaningless and doesn’t impact your main user account. And ultimately the act of up/down voting is just a personal opinion so best leave it at that.